My barber shop was closed, so I had to settle for Great Clips. There are 2 stylists working and a total of 4 people in front of me. As I'm waiting I notice that one lady has a "Stylist of the month" sign above her station. I won't make a fuss about who I get but I secretly hope to get her. Finally it's almost my turn and I'm going to be seated at the stylist of the month's station. As I'm waiting for her to get cleaned up a guy walks in with funny hair. He has a buzz cut on his entire head, but a large circle of shoulder length hair right on top. It's too much of a mullet to be considered a mullet. The top of his head looks pretty short, so I can't help but wonder what he's doing. Is he actually going to get it all cut off? His hair needs to improve, how will he do it?
He says to the lady, "I just got my hair cut here and she did it all wrong." Hooray. He recognizes that his hair looks silly. So MY stylist, the stylist of the month, sits him immedietly. Dangit. As he's seated, I'm listening in to hear, "The top is uneven." That's the problem? Not the freakin half-spawn between a mullet and rattail? Seems that except for a few long hairs on the top/front of his head, he was perfectly happy with this look.
SO then I sit down. At the other lady's stand. She starts asking me a bunch of questions that I don't know the answer to, and a bunch more questions that don't matter.
"So you want a 3 on the back?" What's a "3"?
"Do you want me to square off the back or round it off?" I may have an opinion if she wanted to give me zig-zags. But I'm willing to bet that 5 out of 100 guys my age have a true preference. The other 95 just say whatever.
"What are we going to do with these bangs?" Cut them? Maybe? Unless you can lengthen them and turn them into pretzels. That would be OK too.
"So you off work today?"
"Do you have any kids?"
Normally talking about my expected child is one of the funnest things I can do. But small talk with barbers and the like is just so uncomfortable. Talk always leans toward a short list of subjects. Weather, local sports (in season), occupation, kids.
"Did you see the [insert local team name] game last night?"
"Yea, it was good they won/bad they lost."
"I hope it rains soon. We sure do need some rain."
"Yup, we do."
And that is why I hate getting my hair cut.
3 comments:
Mike is the 5%. Before he started cutting his own hair he knew what number to use on each part of his head. I have never known any other guy to know what that means.
Chris
Now that was funny. 8-)
Now you don't have to worry about it again for like 4 more weeks... or 8 or 30 or however long you go btw haircuts....
you have bangs.???? ... HA HA (in a simpson's voice)
David knows about the number and rounding/squaring thing I think. ... maybe you have to have short hair for it to matter though. When I was reading your post I was thinking, did Ken get his hair buzzed???
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